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Arm Wrestle Bread


1 cup milk, warmed
1 tablespoon salt
1/2 cup honey
3 teaspoons oil
2 tablespoons active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm water
4 1/2 cups flour, perhaps a bit more
1/2 cup wheat germ

(secret ingredients: 2 teaspoons each of dill, rosemary & crushed garlic)


1 - In large bowl: milk, oil, honey & salt. Mix, set aside to cool

2 - In small bowl, mix water, yeast and a touch of honey, wait 10 minutes for yeast to grow

3 - Add yeast mix to milk mix

4 - Add wheat germ first, then the secret ingredients, lastly the flour bit by bit until you have dough.

5 - Knead for ten minutes, working off angst from any current confrontation.

6 - Sated from the kneading and pleasured by the scent of your dough, place it in the large bowl, oil the top and let it (and you) rest for an hour.

7 - Knowing now that you are in control of the Universe, punch that lovely dough down and knead it for five minutes. Let it rest for 45 minutes this time, pick up your knitting and let that smug feeling of accomplishment wash over you.

8 - Set your oven to 375 degrees. Punch that dough down for the last time, divide it, shape it into two loaves and place them in oiled bread pans.

9 - As you slide the bread into the oven, savor the knowledge that every person within scent-distance will now be your friend.

10 - Wait 45 minutes, until the loaf pans sound hollow when you thump them on the bottom, remove bread from pans, cool on a rack and just for the pure orgasmic pleasure, brush the loaves with heavy cream or butter.